The Power of Testimony

Last night I got the opportunity to preach at our weekly coffee house outreach we hold at the Dream Center. There are several homeless men and women that attend, as well as the men and women in our discipleship program that have come off the streets in order to turn their lives around. I spoke about this very topic, the power of testimony, and it's been on my mind so much that I thought I would blog a little bit of my thoughts.

Never underestimate the power of someone's testimony, someone's story of God's power in his or her life. Being in Los Angeles working with such a wide variety of people has given me the chance to hear just about every possible testimony. From drugs to alcohol to prostitution to murder, I've heard it all. And let me tell you... I've never been as confident in the power of God to change lives as I do right now.

Take my friend Arlan, for example. Arlan works with me here at Hope for Homeless Youth. He and I lead outreaches together, and let me tell you, when he starts praying with the short-term groups to begin the outreaches, you better be prepared to feel the Spirit moving. I don't know if I've ever met someone more sure and confident of God's power on the streets than Arlan. He is on fire for Christ and I learn more from his example everyday. But he wasn't always a Spirit-filled, passionate disciple of Christ.

Arlan grew up being harassed by classmates for having more effeminate qualities, which of course included accusations of being gay, whether he even understood what that meant or not. Long story short, he ended up cross-dressing in an attempt to become more of who everyone else claimed he was. He left home with a full-time job doing drag queen shows around the country. He told me that he could barely remember anything from those trips because he was always tripping on some drug and drinking more than a human being should. When he couldn't do the drag queen shows anymore he would end up prostituting himself on the streets where he would end up homeless after losing all of his money either to drugs or a crazy party lifestyle. He was beaten, raped, and left for dead on multiple occasions. He remembers these days as being absent of meaning and hope, always knowing he would end up going home alone and in need of something more.

The one thing going for him in life was that he had a mom who prayed for him everyday. And let me tell you, when there is a mom praying for her child, God works in incredible ways. The prayers of a loving mom are unmatched. Eventually Arlan came home to his parents' house, dressed as a woman. He expected them to drag him to church, but they didn't. In his own words, he said he went to church with them just to spite them for not forcing him to go. After going to the church, he felt a love that he has never felt before. The people at the church loved him for who he was, and they looked right past the cross-dressing. They treated him as he truly was, a child of the living God.

He started to attend the church more and more and actually got involved in painting murals there (he is a very gifted artist). He said the others who worked with him talked to him and loved him just as any other person in the church, and he could never figure out why. But he liked it. And eventually the love of Christ gripped his heart, and he gave his life to Him. He put away the former lifestyle he had adopted full of drugs, alcohol, homelessness, prostitution, and partying, opting for the better life God had always planned for him, a life full of joy, purpose, and true love from the only One who could give it to him unconditionally.

Not long after that he started attending another church in Phoenix and felt a calling to go into vocational ministry. After months of training at a pastors' school, Arlan began serving the Lord at his home church as a youth pastor. From there God called him to work with Hope for Homeless Youth, reaching out to the homeless here in Los Angeles, extending the same hope he received from Christ to everyone he meets. He knows exactly how to speak into the lives of people who are in similar situations as he was years before.

Full of humility, Arlan possesses a personable quality that attracts everyone around him. He is never ashamed of the gospel that literally saved his life. He gives God glory everyday as he walks the streets, sharing Christ's love with every soul that needs a glimmer of hope in a world that only offers a cheap substitute. He understands the realm of spiritual warfare, and he storms the gates of Heaven in every prayer. I know without a doubt that the Father is pleased with this man of God.

Try to tell me that God doesn't work miracles today, and I will laugh. Arlan is a walking testimony of God's faithfulness towards all of His children and of His matchless power to change lives. I have learned that no person is permanently lost, no situation is too big, no scheme of hell is too wicked for the Holy Spirit to come in and change everything for God's glory. It reminds me of the line from the song "In Christ Alone":

No power of hell, no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from His hand

Til' He returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ I stand.

Every situation that Satan intends for disaster and pain God will turn around and use to bring love and glory to to Him. In John 9, Jesus heals a blind man who doesn't even know who Jesus is. When questioned by the Pharisees about the event, he proclaims, "Whether he is a sinner or not, I do not know. One thing I do know - I was blind and now I see!"

You don't have to be a Bible scholar to tell everyone about Christ's love. You don't have to be perfect to commit your life to Him. All you need to do is give your pain, your hurt, to God and let him transform your life. Then you'll have a testimony that no one can take away.

You can always argue point-counterpoint, logic and reason, until you're blue in the face with frustration, but you can never argue with a changed life.

Revelation 12:11 says, "They overcame him [Satan] by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony..." After hearing Arlan's testimony, as well as the testimonies of countless others, I know for a fact that God wasn't lying when he gave us this verse. Do you believe he can do the same with your testimony?

As a final note, I really want to encourage everyone to share your testimony with others. People need to hear about God's awesome power to change lives.

Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Hay-soos

God continues to use people to teach me timeless truths as I walk the streets in Los Angeles. Last week's lesson came from a homeless Hispanic man ironically named Jesus (pronounced, "Hay-soos", in case you were you confused about the quirky blog title). From here on out, I will refer to him as "Jay" so as to avoid any potential misunderstandings between the man I met and the Jesus who died for mankind on the cross.

I met Jay at our weekly outreach to Santa Monica. Each week we go out there with the church teams and canvass the entire area, inviting all the homeless to come to the pier for free food and testimonies about God's love. Once we get to the pier, we have two individuals from the church teams share a quick 5-minute testimony about how God has changed their lives, and someone from our staff shares a quick word (or sermon), offering everybody the chance for prayer. After that we break out the food and enjoy some good eatin' and fellowshipin' under a sunsettin' California sky.

It was at this point when Jay made eye contact with me as he ate his food on a nearby bench. Jay was wearing a gardener's hat and spoke with a little bit of an accent. He was also holding a brown paper bag and smelled a bit like the alcohol he had been drinking (though, he wasn't drunk). He said something to me that I couldn't quite understand, so I moved closer to him and asked him to repeat.

"Do you really believe we will see each other again someday in heaven?" he asked.

"Of course! Whoever professes that Jesus is Lord, believes that he died on the cross and rose again from the dead, and commits their lives to Him will go to heaven and have eternal life," I replied. I showed him Romans 10:9 to assure him of this truth. I've found that there is true power in reading the Word and allowing others to read it for themselves.

"But what if you do something really bad? Do you think he forgives you then?" His tone was so sincere, so innocently inquisitive, that I couldn't help but wonder where this conversation was headed.

"I know he forgives you. If we repent and ask him for forgiveness, we receive it instantly. It's as if that sin never happened in God's eyes. It says so here in 1 John 1:9..." Again I showed him this verse to give him assurance that God is indeed "faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" if we confess our sins.

To this, he looked up and with a rush of emotion declared, "But I feel so bad! God cannot forgive me when I feel this bad!" He continued on to explain that he had done something horrible (without explaining the details), despite the fact that he had been a good boy when he was young. He kept repeating the line, "My mom always told me to do right, but I didn't listen. Why didn't I listen?"

It broke my heart to listen to his story. Emotions are so deceiving. Just as the mind can serve as either a bridge or as a roadblock to the heart, as was the case with "Saint" James in my last blog, emotions can either enhance one's faith or destroy it. Misleading emotions take the here-and-now circumstances and use them to trap the unexpectant traveller in lies that attempt to annihilate timeless truths. They deceptively shroud absolute truth with clouds of subjective thought and relativity. The timeless truth in Jay's story was that God had forgiven him, but because Jay did not feel forgiven, he could not believe that he was forgiven.

This is precisely why God has blessed us with His Word, the Bible. In his great wisdom God knew we would somehow forget the promises he gave the early believers and recorded them in a great book that is the eternal record of truth. He knew Satan would use our emotions against us and try to get us lost in our "feelings." Romans 10:9, 1 John 1:9, and John 3:16 are all promises God gave us to remind us in times of doubt that we would not be forgiven for whatever reasons.

I encouraged Jay with these promises. I told him a thousand times that since he had asked for forgiveness for his sin he was forgiven. I even showed him the example of David in 2 Samuel 11, when he sins with Bathsheba. I gave him Psalms 51, which was written by David as he desperately sought God's forgiveness for his sexual sin. I told him a thousand times that God loved him more than he could ever fathom. I showed him verse after verse that promised God's love for him.

"But I still feel so bad!" he replied.

At this point Jay's emotions had him in such a vicegrip that his mindful was unfruitful in understanding God's promises. It's one thing to feel forgiven; it's another thing to know you're forgiven. It sometimes does not make sense to our limited human minds that a perfect, infinite Creator would erase the errors of our past without another mention of the mistake. The parable of the prodigal son, which might better be titled the "parable of the incredible father," illustrates the unmatched compassion our Father has for us. I pray that one day Jay will run into the open arms of the Father who did not send his Son to condemn, but to save (John 3:17).

In the meantime, we have to carefully take a toll of our emotions and examine how they are leading us into truth or guiding us into confusion. John Piper writes in Desiring God:
"Truth without emotion produces dead orthodoxy and a church full (or half-full) of artificial admirers... On the other hand, emotion without truth produces empty frenzy and cultivates shallow people who refuse the discipline of rigorous thought. But true worship comes from people who are deeply emotional and who love deep and sound doctrine. Strong affections for God rooted in truth are the bone and marrow of biblical worship."

Emotions are a vital aspect of faith, but we cannot naively trust in them to define our theology or we will never truly grasp how deep, how wide, how great is the love of God!

As tears flowed down Jay's face, I could not help but cry out to God with a spirit of gratitude for his love, and for the realization of that love as articulated in the Word of God. I urged him to replace his feelings of worthlessness with Jesus Christ himself and see how God changes his life. I exhorted him that it is never too late and that God never gives up on us. I prayed for him fervently right there on the bench he was sitting that the Holy Spirit would move in his life so powerfully that his misguided emotions would be replaced with the timeless truth of God's love, grace, and forgiveness.

Please join me in prayer for Jay as you finish this blog, for the "prayers of a righteous person are powerful and effective" (James 5:16).

Living in faith...

"Saint" James

For my blog today I thought I would tell you about a homeless man I met on our Venice Beach outreach named "Saint" James. He always makes sure to add the "saint" part when talking to me.

It's actually a miracle I even know his name. The first time I ever saw him he was sitting in the area where we were holding a mini-service for anyone interested. Basically, two of the short-term participants get up and tell part of their testimony and we offer to pray for anybody who wants it. Afterwards we hand out about 80 sack lunches. While we were handing out the lunches I saw him sitting by himself, dressed nicely in a t-shirt that said "Addicted" with a giant marijuana leaf under it. I thought it might be interesting to talk to this man. He has been wearing this shirt everytime I see him.

I extended my hand to him and said, "Hi I'm David," which led him to wave his hand at me, indicating he wanted me to leave. "We don't need to be introduced," he replied.
"Oh no, why not?" I asked.
In a very angry and confrontational tone, he said, "Because you Christians are so arrogant coming out here claiming that Jesus died on the cross and that he's the only way you can have eternal life. You can't say that anymore than any Jew or Muslim could say that."

Based off of his tone and attitude towards Christianity, I instantly knew this would be an interesting conversation. Before I even got to Venice Beach, I had prayed that the Holy Spirit would guide me to conversations and within those conversations as well. As soon as the conversation began, I felt the Holy Spirit saying to me, "You're not going to win him with your arguments or reason. If anything you will win him with your love and respect." It seems as if he hadn't met any loving Christians from the things he was saying.

He continued on with his tirade on Christians, insisting that we cannot claim to be heading in the direction of heaven because we haven't done anything to help the AIDS crisis in Africa. (He also claimed that George Bush Sr. is the antichrist and that he was the one who created and sent the AIDS virus to the African continent. He was full of many conspiracy theories, to say the least.) I told him that I agreed that Christians could be doing much, much more to make an impact on the earth in the name of Jesus, and that the AIDS crisis is one of those areas where Christians have the opportunity to spread the love of Christ. I also told him about my good friend Matt Taylor (and several others) who is a committed Christians that is studying for the express purpose of helping AIDS victims. This seemed to surprise him.

I hear this argument from unbelievers all the time:
There are desperate situations in the world,
Some Christians don't seem to care about these situations,
Therefore Christianity is not a valid belief system.

While it breaks my heart that people get the impression that Christians don't care about the world, sometimes it is a reality. I must say, it is not the majority by any means. But there are some people who profess to be Christians and have no desire to care for the world. However, it is faulty logic to believe that because Jesus' followers have sometimes fallen short and been hypocritical that Jesus is not truly the Son of God and the only way to salvation. His Word still stands, whether mere humans follow it or not.

I continued to explain to him that I understood his problems with Christians, but I also took the chance to explain to him why all 85 of us out there that day were there because we cared for our homeless brothers and sisters and we wanted to make a difference in the world. I urged him not to lose faith in Jesus Christ because some of his followers have lost their way. It is the same reason my parents explained to people as to why we chose to remain at New Life Church in Colorado after our pastor, Ted Haggard, fell into sexual immorality.

The conversation continued, and he told me how he based his life on the book of Revelation and how he himself was fulfilling one of the prophecies. He also told me how he doesn't believe the rest of the Bible. Obviously, that didn't sit right logically in my head, so I asked him, lovingly and respectfully, "How can you base your life on the book of Revelation and the writings of the apostle John and still say you don't believe Jesus died on the cross when that same apostle John said in his gospel that He did in fact die on the cross?" To this question he had no answer except for a theory that John was forced to lie in his gospel. We talked about this a little further, and I saw his confidence in that theory begin to wave. But he still did not change his mind at this point.

It was here that God taught me a very valuable lesson. Apologetics, the rational defense of the faith, is designed to plant seeds. You will never argue someone into the Kingdom of God. That's not what God's love created us to do. His love will win someone to the Kingdom of God. Intellectual assent, while it is an important aspect of faith, is not a pre-requisite for belief. Apologetics will merely break down faulty logic and weak arguments in order to create space for the Holy Spirit to convict the heart. The mind will either serve as a bridge or as a roadblock to the heart. For James, it was a roadblock.

At the end of the conversation, and after some friendly discussion during which I encouraged him and thanked him for his passion to see the end of the AIDS crisis, I extended my hand once more and said, "Now what's your name?" He took my hand and smiled, "James... Saint James."

I continue to pray for James and for the Holy Spirit to work in his life. I hope that I helped to remove some roadblocks to faith in Jesus for him, but I know that the rest is up to God. 1 Peter 3:15 says, "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect." That last part is true wisdom... it's exactly what I needed to remember that day because, as I felt God telling me, I will not win someone over with my reason or logic, but with my love and respect.

I saw "Saint" James again today, and we had a nice conversation about his week and his dreams of being a writer. Please join with me in prayer for James as you finish reading this.

Living in faith...

A Little Overwhelmed

Reports have been released that approximately 90,000 people are homeless and sleeping on the streets on any given day in Los Angeles.

Skid Row, a section of about 10 blocks by 10 blocks near downtown LA, consitutes the most concentrated location of homelessness in America.

Those are just stats. But living here has been an eye-opener in itself. It is nearly impossible to go anywhere... whether I'm going to a movie, to the beach, or somewhere to eat (probably Taco Bell!) without seeing multiple people living on the street. Because there is so much need and poverty here, the ones caught in homelessness are forced to be more bold with their panhandling. Multiple times in the last week I have been sitting in a restaurant and a homeless man has walked straight to our table asking for change. Instead of giving out money, potentially contributing to alcohol or drug problems, I (or someone with me) bought them a meal and talked with them. It's amazing the stories I have heard while being on the streets here.

Those times I was at the different restaurants were not "ministry" times. I wasn't on an outreach. We weren't with short-term teams from churches. We were using our time off to enjoy fellowship and good food (Chipotle!). And yet still I met multiple homeless men and felt the need to care for and serve them.

To be completely honest, I feel a little overwhelmed. Jesus said that the poor will always be with us, but I've never experienced something like this. It is difficult to have a "day off" from the outreaches and Dream Center ministry and be faced with the same issues and the same things that break my heart during the rest of the week. Sometimes all I can do is stop and pray, because I feel powerless to do anything else. (And of course God is powerful in our weakness).

I really don't have a positive twist to this blog or some great nugget of wisdom to share. I guess I'm just learning what it is to be broken for others. Sometimes it feels like we're barely putting a dent in the problem of homelessness, and my heart continues to break. I think God is teaching me to rely on Him and take every problem I see and give it to Him. I can't hold on to these burdens myself... I'm nowhere near strong enough. God cares for these people even more than I do. I need to be reminding myself of that. His love is deeper and thicker than my love ever could be. HE is the one who sustains, provides, heals, and saves them, not me. It is my duty to be faithful and serve in whatever way I can. God will do the rest.

Please pray that I don't get discouraged or burnt out, but that my love for God is freshly anewed everyday. Pray that I am reminded of His incredible love for these people so that I am not overwhelmed with burdens that I can't carry.

Isaiah 1:17
"Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow."

The Plentiful Harvest in the City

Being in Los Angeles has already taught me so much in just 3 weeks of ministry. I was encouraged (one might even say "threatened") by my good friend Jordan Bolte (jbolte.blogspot.com) earlier today to share and blog some of my thoughts that I was talking to him about. I'm learning so much and God is speaking to me about my future that I will try to slowly talk about on here.



Los Angeles is a big city. I know this may be news to nobody, but it is huge. It takes a navigating genius to get around here. There are also millions of people that live here. With that amount of people there comes a huge opportunity for the Gospel. I am reading a book called Cities: Missions' New Frontier. The authors attest to this very idea; that is, some big cities have more people than the rest of the state it rests in and there is a huge need for the light of Jesus Christ. Naturally we'd expect that there'd be a good ratio of ministries/churches to the number of people, but this is not the case at all. There is a huge need for good Bible-centered, Jesus-centered churches in the city.

In Luke 10:2, Jesus says, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few." This one sentence could not better describe the situation here. There is a giant harvest field, but we simply do not have enough people to reach them all. Los Angeles defines so much of our culture through Hollywood. Can you imagine the potential to influence the nation for Jesus Christ in a city like this? We just need committed disciples of Christ who have a desire to reach the cities for God.

I had this same feeling when I was in Chicago during the school year working for Emmaus Ministries. There was so much need on the street, but there was hardly a Christlike influence. I'll never forget one of the questions the Emmaus staff asked us as we debriefed our experience: "While you were out on the streets, where was the church?" I have not been able to shake that question since I saw what I saw that night... hurting, broken people... some starving because they can't afford a single meal or because all of their money goes to their alcohol and drug addictions. It's the same here every single day I go out. We see new people every single outreach we do who have never heard the gospel or heard the news that Jesus loves them just as they are. It breaks my heart.

Yesterday I met a 17-year-old homeless girl who had nothing to her name and is sleeping on the streets at night. Oh, and did I mention that she's pregnant, 5 months along? She is about to have a baby and she doesn't even have a bed for herself. She looked exhausted, beaten down from the stress of the streets. My heart especially broke for her as I saw her walk across the street with the little energy she still has. How can this be happening?? Where is the church?

That's exactly why I love working here at the Dream Center. This is a church that's not waiting for people to come to us; we're going out to them and finding them. With the huge missions field of Los Angeles, we'll continue to minister to the homeless, the broken, those in need. But the workers are still few.

Jesus called us the "light of the world." We are inherently different from the darkness in the world. When a lightbulb is turned on in a room, the darkness is completely changed to light. Everything is affected. Usually one lightbulb can light an entire room. A second might help uncover some of the darkness. But at some point you stop putting light bulbs in the room because the light has reached every crevice and corner. Instead you'll put those lightbulbs in other dark rooms that need them.

I think in Christianity today we are surrounding ourselves too much with other lightbulbs - Christians, if you will. Please don't misunderstand me. We need each other. We are designed for fellowship and to be together with other Christians. I am not condoning lone-ranger-ministry. However, there is a point where we need to branch out and find where there is darkness, and plant our lighted-selves in that area to bring the light of Christ to that area. If we surround ourselves entirely with other light, how will we make a difference?

I love being in Los Angeles because of the potential for the greatness of God to be revealed. There is a lot of darkness here that needs the light of Jesus. There are other places like this all over the world. We need to be stepping out and going head on into the darkness with the full strength we have in Christ. I am excited about what God is teaching me in this area. I am excited to work in a city where the harvest is plentiful.

After Jesus said, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few," he continued on to say, "Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field." What an encouragement; it is HIS harvest field! And we get the chance to be a part of it! But this is also my prayer. Please continue to pray for more workers and churches in this harvest field.

Living in faith...

Do You Love Me?

There is one lesson I've learned after being involved in ministry for the last several years. It's a lesson that transfers across every kind of ministry, whether you're involved with youth, kids, the homeless, or whoever. It's one that I try to remind myself every single day, especially while I'm here in L.A.

It is simply this: We cannot minister to people without falling in love with Jesus Christ first.

Sounds simple, right? But then why do we find ourselves going through the motions of daily ministry? Have you ever found yourself "doing" ministry because it's what is expected of you or out of obligation? I only ask these questions because I have had to grapple with them myself.

The other day I was driving somewhere in the city and my mind wandered to some scripture that I've actually preached on before. But for some reason the Holy Spirit illumined a part of it that I hadn't focused on before.

It's in John 21, one of my favorite passages in the Bible. At this point, Jesus has been resurrected and shown himself to the disciples. In this setting, Peter and some of the other disciples are out fishing. The sheer irony of the setting is enough to raise some eyebrows. Think about it... Peter and the other disciples have just spent 3 years with Jesus, seen the miracles he performed, heard his incredible teachings, watched him die on the cross, and met him after he raised from the dead. And what do they do? They go fishing. They go back to what was ordinary or safe in their lives. I realize that Jesus told them to wait for the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, before they went out, but at the same time it just seems like an interesting activity of choice by these disciples, especially Peter, upon whom Jesus said he would build his church. But that's another blog, another sermon, for another day. That isn't the part of the passage that stuck out to me.

It's when Jesus starts talking to Peter that I realize the importance of Jesus' implications. We pick up in verse 15:

"When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?"
"Yes Lord," he said, "you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."
Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"
He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."
The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Feed my sheep.""

The key thing to notice here is the order of Jesus' words. He first asks Peter if he loves Jesus. Only after Peter says that he loves him does Jesus commission him to "feed my lambs," "take care of my sheep," and "feed my sheep." Jesus does not tell him to begin his ministry until he knows for sure that he loves him with everything. The action words of feeding and taking care are synonymous with doing ministry.

In other words we are not to even presume that we can take care of God's flock, or the church, before we fall completely in love with Jesus Christ. How can we do ministry in the name of the one we do not love with heart, soul, mind, and strength?

Every morning now I wake up and pray that I will fall freshly in love with Jesus Christ and be filled with the Holy Spirit before I start any ministry. The second part of being filled with the Holy Spirit comes from Jesus telling the disciples the same thing; that is, they should not go out and minister until the Advocate, the Counselor, the Holy Spirit falls upon them. I've come to the realization that without these two things I can never be effective in ministry.

Again, I say these things because I am learning this in my own life. When the Holy Spirit opens my mind to something fresh in Scripture, I can't help but talk about it! Hopefully I will keep the aforementioned prayer alive in my walk and ministry everyday. I also hope that this encouraged you and that you fall in love with Jesus more every single day!

And, as promised, some verses that keep me going in ministry to the poor and broken:
1 John 3:17-18
"If any one of you has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in you? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."

Week 1 Reflections

The schedule of an inner city missionary has turned out to be very busy. My hands are full everyday, but it is in such a good way. The only problem is that I don't have as much time to blog as I was hoping. My goal is to blog at least twice a week, though, so I can keep my family and friends informed about what I'm experiencing and learning. I don't have a lot of time right now, but here are a couple thoughts.

First of all, I've never felt as spiritually strong as I do right now. The people here are on fire. I don't say that lightly either. I thought I had seen what it looked like to be consumed with a passion for the gospel, but I've only now been able to see the real thing. I've been convicted about where I fall short in my personal faith, and I'm so glad too. I wanted to grow this summer, and working with the people here is pushing me incredibly. Praise God. One of the other interns/staff members here will break into prayer at any given moment if he sees something that needs it or feels the Holy Spirit convicting him to pray. It took me off-guard at first, but I've grown to love the constant conversation he has with God during the day.

Secondly, my heart is breaking for the men and women on the street that I am meeting. Take Joe for example. Joe has been living on the streets by Santa Monica for about 3 weeks now after moving from Florida. Joe developed a form of cancer last year and had to go through a lot of treatment. The treatment and chemotherapy have dried up his bank account, and he has no family to turn to. There was a mess-up when his papers went in for social security money he could receive because of his situation and now he won't receive any money for weeks, maybe even months. He refuses to go downtown where drug and alcohol usage is rampant on Skid Row, so he's staying close to the beach where it's safer. He still has faith left over from his childhood when he went to church with his mom. He knows God is taking care of Him, but it's hard not knowing whether he'll live much longer with the cancer on the streets. After talking with him I could see how tightly he was gripping onto the hope that comes only through Jesus Christ, but I fear for how long he can pull on the hem of Jesus' garment before his strength gives way. I had such a good conversation with him, and I even got the chance to pray for healing in his body. With that said, it is so hard to walk away from someone like that without wanting to do everything possible to get him off the street and help him find a home. Even more than that, I want him to be in the fellowship of other believers who will encourage him and point him to Christ when it gets difficult. I haven't figured this all out completely, but I know this is just one way I have to trust in the power of Christ for his life. I am still praying for him, as well as all the other homeless men and women I've been meeting on the street.

On that note, prayer has been one of the greatest parts of this internship. We pray all the time, and I'm not talking about the kind where we go around the circle and pray for 5 minutes. I'm talking about the kind of prayer that storms the gates of Heaven looking for the presence of God! It's very Spirit-filled prayer. I'm learning so much about prayer still, and being around this ministry is teaching me even more. A big thing I wanted to do this summer is pray about the direction God wants me to go after I graduate college in May. There are so many options but I think He is slowly showing me more specific things.

Finally, I wanted to add something for any of my Christian Ed classmates that might be reading this and make fun of my loud voice. Last night we had a service for the homeless by the Santa Monica pier outside. We share a couple testimonies, someone preaches, and then we break out the food and eat and fellowship. Well, last night I was asked to preach. Normally we have a PA system with a mini-microphone to blast the sound, but it wasn't working when we got there.... which of course meant that I had to preach in an outdoor park to a group of about 100 total people with only my loud voice. I was definitely shouting the gospel out there, haha. I was laughing and wondering the whole time how my CE 2010 classmates would react to that scene. Turns out God gave me a loud voice intentionally so I'd be able to preach with no microphone outdoors.... haha. Some people mentioned to me afterward that they had trouble hearing the two people who shared their testimonies before me, but that they didn't struggle at all to hear my sermon. I know my classmates will get a good laugh out of that.

But anyway, I'd like to leave my blogs with verses that are pushing me to do this kind of ministry and what motivates me to continue.

James 2:14-17
"14What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? 15Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. 16If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? 17In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead."